Dahlia (D): You don’t look like a smoker
Leo (L): What does a smoker look like
(D) You know, not like you
(L) Oh, yeah, I think I know, taller and wearing a tighter t-shirt
(D) Yeah, something like that
(L) Hmmm – I suppose I could buy some platform shoes and smaller t-shirts
(D) Why?
(L) So I would look like a smoker
(D) Why would you want to look like a smoker?
(L) So people wouldn’t tell me I don’t look like a smoker
(D) Oh
(L) –
(D) –
(L) –
(D) But why not just quit?
(L) Quit what?
(D) Smoking
(L) Why?
(D) So people wouldn’t keep telling you you don’t look like a smoker
(L) Oh – well, I’m not a quitter
(D) What?
(L) I’m not a quitter
(D) What’s that supposed to mean
(L) It means I don’t just quit when something becomes difficult
(D) Why?
(L) Because that’s weak! Winners never quit and quitters never win.
(D) Oh, I didn’t know.
(L) Yeah, I figured
(D) So what color t-shirts you gonna get?
(L) When?
(D) Whenever you go shopping for smaller shirts?
(L) Why would I buy smaller shirts?
(D) So people won’t tell you you don’t look like a smoker
(L) But I am a smoker
(D) I know, but people tell you you don’t look like a smoker
(L) Yeah?
(D) So if you get smaller t-shirts, and some boots to make you taller, people will stop assuming you don’t smoke
(L) Yeah, I guess you have a point, but maybe I should just go to the gym and get swoll so I don’t need to spend money on new shirts and shoes
(D) What exercise makes you taller?
(L) What? None, what do you mean?
(D) You said you could go to the gym instead of buying smaller shirts and taller boots
(L) No, not taller, thicker, bigger chest and biceps and abs – so I’ll look taller without buying new shoes
(D) How will bigger arms and a broader chest make you look taller?
(L) You know, because people will be looking at my guns and pecs and then they’ll raise their eyes to see my face and they’ll think I’m taller than I am
(D) What? Why?
(L) Because they perceive people with big muscles as taller
(D) Who does?
(L) People
(D) What people?
(L) Like, everyone; don’t you?
(D) No
(L) Why?
(D) Because people who are more muscular look more muscular but their height doesn’t appear different to me.
L) That’s weird
(D) Why?
(L) Because if you’re looking at someone’s muscles, below the neck, and then you have to move your eyes up to get to their face, they appear taller
(D) No they don’t
(L) Yes they do
(D) Whatever, so you’re going to the gym instead of buying new clothes?
(L) I don’t know, Maybe I’ll do both
(D) Wait, if you go to the gym and workout and have bigger muscles, you won’t need the new clothes and if you get the new smaller clothes, you won’t need to go to the gym
(L) Maybe I want new clothes and bigger muscles
(D) Oh, well then I guess that would make sense
L) Yeah, but I’ll have to see about getting a job so I have money cuz gym memberships are spendy and new clothes ain’t cheap
(D) You don’t have a job?
(L) No
(D) What do you do all day?
(L) Stuff
(D) Like what?
(L) Smoke cigarettes & talk to people
(D) There’s your job, you should work as a telephone operator – they smoke & talk all day
(L) Really
(D) Yeah, my aunt Tracy did it for 40 years
(L) You just talk to people & smoke? All day?
(D) Yep, & of course connect folks to other folks, but that’s kinda secondary
(L) Sounds perfect
(D)Yep
(L) Well Hey! Now that I’ve got my life figured out, thanks to you, you wanna run over to the feed mill with me to get some sunflower seeds
(D) What do you need sunflower seeds for?
(L) The Cardinals, they love ’em
(D) You feed Cardinals?
(L) Yeah, don’t you?
(D) No. Yeah. Well, I put out bird seed for all the birds, not just Cardinals – don’t you think the other birds would like to be fed?
(L) Sure, but my neighbor Jimmy puts out all the other seed so the other birds go to his yard for that and the Cardinals come to my yard for the sunflower seeds
(D) Oh; what about squirrels, don’t they come and eat the sunflower seeds?
(L) I’m sure they do but only when I’m not in the yard
(D) How much time do you spend in your yard
(L) I don’t know, probably 10-15 hours a day
(D) What?
(L) 10-15 hours a day
(D) ummmmm. why?
(L) So the Cardinals don’t have to fight with the squirrels for the seeds
(D) ohh, ok; sounds like a full-time job
(L) definitely is
(D) so when would you have time to work as an telephone operator
(L) I wouldn’t
(D) so why did you say it was perfect and that your life was figured out
(L) I think I was just excited and forgot about the squirrels bothering the Cardinals
(D) oh
